The Woman Who Holds It All Together
Every Friday night, as Shabbos candles flicker and the table is set, a husband turns to his wife and sings. The words come from the last chapter of Mishlei, written by Shlomo HaMelech. They describe a woman of extraordinary strength, wisdom, and chesed. She is not perfect in some untouchable way. She is real. She works hard, she gives generously, she speaks with kindness, and she fears Hashem.
Eshet Chayil is often translated as “woman of valor,” but that barely scratches the surface. Chayil means strength, courage, capability. An eshet chayil is a woman of inner power, the kind of power that builds a home, raises children, cares for those in need, and does it all with dignity and grace.
Eshet Chayil is more than a song; it is a profound reflection of the Jewish home.
Before You Say Eshet Chayil
Eshet Chayil is traditionally sung on Friday night before Kiddush. Before the words begin, take a moment to think about the women in your life — your wife, your mother, your daughters, your sisters. Think about what they carry, what they give, who they are. Then turn to Hashem:
Ribono Shel Olam, You have given me a gift I can never repay: the women in my life who hold everything together with strength and love. Please bless them with health, with simchah, with the ability to see how much they matter. Give them koach for everything they carry. And let the words I am about to say be more than a song, let them be a tefillah. In the zechus of Rabbi Meir Baal Haness. Elokah d’Meir aneni.
If giving tzedakah, add:
In the zechus of the tzedakah I am giving to Rabbi Meir Baal Haness Charities, please bless the women of my family with everything they need, strength, health, parnassah, and shalom bayis.
Eshet Chayil: The Full Text
אֵשֶׁת חַיִל מִי יִמְצָא וְרָחֹק מִפְּנִינִים מִכְרָהּ
בָּטַח בָּהּ לֵב בַּעְלָהּ וְשָׁלָל לֹא יֶחְסָר
גְּמָלַתְהוּ טוֹב וְלֹא רָע כֹּל יְמֵי חַיֶּיהָ
דָּרְשָׁה צֶמֶר וּפִשְׁתִּים וַתַּעַשׂ בְּחֵפֶץ כַּפֶּיהָ
הָיְתָה כׇּאֳנִיּוֹת סוֹחֵר מִמֶּרְחָק תָּבִיא לַחְמָהּ
וַתָּקׇם בְּעוֹד לַיְלָה וַתִּתֵּן טֶרֶף לְבֵיתָהּ וְחֹק לְנַעֲרֹתֶיהָ
זָמְמָה שָׂדֶה וַתִּקָּחֵהוּ מִפְּרִי כַפֶּיהָ נָטְעָה כָּרֶם
חָגְרָה בְעוֹז מׇתְנֶיהָ וַתְּאַמֵּץ זְרוֹעֹתֶיהָ
טָעֲמָה כִּי טוֹב סַחְרָהּ לֹא יִכְבֶּה בַלַּיְלָה נֵרָהּ
יָדֶיהָ שִׁלְּחָה בַכִּישׁוֹר וְכַפֶּיהָ תָּמְכוּ פָלֶךְ
כַּפָּהּ פָּרְשָׂה לֶעָנִי וְיָדֶיהָ שִׁלְּחָה לָאֶבְיוֹן
לֹא תִירָא לְבֵיתָהּ מִשָּׁלֶג כִּי כׇל בֵּיתָהּ לָבֻשׁ שָׁנִים
מַרְבַדִּים עָשְׂתָה לָּהּ שֵׁשׁ וְאַרְגָּמָן לְבוּשָׁהּ
נוֹדָע בַּשְּׁעָרִים בַּעְלָהּ בְּשִׁבְתּוֹ עִם זִקְנֵי אָרֶץ
סָדִין עָשְׂתָה וַתִּמְכֹּר וַחֲגוֹר נָתְנָה לַכְּנַעֲנִי
עֹז וְהָדָר לְבוּשָׁהּ וַתִּשְׂחַק לְיוֹם אַחֲרוֹן
פִּיהָ פָּתְחָה בְחׇכְמָה וְתוֹרַת חֶסֶד עַל לְשׁוֹנָהּ
צוֹפִיָּה הֲלִיכוֹת בֵּיתָהּ וְלֶחֶם עַצְלוּת לֹא תֹאכֵל
קָמוּ בָנֶיהָ וַיְאַשְּׁרוּהָ בַּעְלָהּ וַיְהַלְלָהּ
רַבּוֹת בָּנוֹת עָשׂוּ חָיִל וְאַתְּ עָלִית עַל כֻּלָּנָה
שֶׁקֶר הַחֵן וְהֶבֶל הַיֹּפִי אִשָּׁה יִרְאַת יְהֹוָה הִיא תִתְהַלָּל
תְּנוּ לָהּ מִפְּרִי יָדֶיהָ וִיהַלְלוּהָ בַשְּׁעָרִים מַעֲשֶׂיהָ
Eishes chayil mi yimtzo v'rochok mip'ninim michroh.
Botach boh leiv ba'aloh v'sholol loi yechsor.
G'molashu toiv v'loi ro kol y'mei chayehoh.
Dorshoh tzemer ufishtim vata'as b'cheifetz kapehoh.
Hoy'soh ko'oniyois soicheir mimmerchok tovi lachmoh.
Vatokom b'oid lailoh vatitein teref l'veisoh v'choik l'na'arosehoh.
Zom'moh sodeh vatikocheihu mip'ri chapehoh not'oh korem.
Chog'roh v'oiz mosnehoh vat'ametz z'roiosehoh.
To'amoh ki toiv sachroh loi yichbeh balailoh neiroh.
Yodehoh shil'choh bachishoer v'chapehoh tomchu folech.
Kapoh porsoh le'oni v'yodehoh shil'choh lo'evyon.
Loi siro l'veisoh misholeg ki chol veisoh lovush shonim.
Marvaddim os'soh loh sheish v'argomon l'vushoh.
Noido bash'orim ba'aloh b'shivtoi im ziknei oretz.
Sodin os'soh vatimkoir vachagor nosnoh lak'na'ani.
Oiz v'hodor l'vushoh vatischak l'yoim acharon.
Pihoh pos'choh v'chochmoh v'soiras chesed al l'shoinoh.
Tzoifiyoh halichois veisoh v'lechem atzlus loi soicheil.
Komu vonehoh vay'ash'ruhoh ba'aloh vay'hal'loh.
Rabbois bonois osu chayil v'at olis al kulonoh.
Sheker hachein v'hevel hayoifi ishoh yir'as Hashem hi tis'halol.
T'nu loh mip'ri yodehoh vihal'luhoh vash'orim ma'asehoh.
Eshet chayil mi yimtza, v'rachok mip'ninim michra.
Batach ba lev ba'ala, v'shalal lo yechsar.
G'malat-hu tov v'lo ra, kol y'mei chayeha.
Darsha tzemer ufishtim, vata'as b'chefetz kapeha.
Hayta ka'oniyot socher, mimerchak tavi lachma.
Vatakom b'od layla, vatiten teref l'veita v'chok l'na'aroteha.
Zam'ma sadeh vatikachehu, mip'ri chapeha nat'a karem.
Chagra v'oz motneha, vat'ametz z'ro'oteha.
Ta'ama ki tov sachra, lo yichbeh balayla neira.
Yadeha shil'cha vakishor, v'chapeha tam'chu falech.
Kapa pars'a le'ani, v'yadeha shil'cha la'evyon.
Lo tira l'veita mishaleg, ki chol beita lavush shanim.
Marvadim asta la, shesh v'argaman l'vusha.
Noda bash'arim ba'ala, b'shivto im ziknei aretz.
Sadin asta vatimkor, vachagor natna lak'na'ani.
Oz v'hadar l'vusha, vatischak l'yom acharon.
Piha pat'cha v'chochma, v'torat chesed al l'shona.
Tzofiya halichot beita, v'lechem atzlut lo tochel.
Kamu vaneha vay'ash'ruha, ba'ala vay'hal'la.
Rabot banot asu chayil, v'at alit al kulana.
Sheker hachen v'hevel hayofi, isha yirat Hashem hi tit'halal.
T'nu la mip'ri yadeha, vihal'luha vash'arim ma'aseha.
A woman of valor, who can find? Her worth is far beyond rubies.
Her husband's heart trusts in her, and he lacks nothing.
She does him good and not harm all the days of her life.
She seeks out wool and flax, and works willingly with her hands.
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
She rises while it is still night, giving food to her household and portions to her maidens.
She considers a field and acquires it; from the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She girds her loins with strength and makes her arms strong.
She senses that her enterprise is good; her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff, and her palms grasp the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed in scarlet.
She makes her own coverings; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known at the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the merchants.
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the days to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise and call her happy; her husband praises her.
Many daughters have done valiantly, but you surpass them all.
Grace is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears Hashem — she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her deeds praise her at the gates.
Eshet Chayil is an acrostic; each pasuk begins with a successive letter of the Aleph-Beis, from Aleph to Tav. The Vilna Gaon teaches that this represents completeness: the eshet chayil embodies the full range of middos, from the first letter to the last. It is not a description of one specific woman. It is a vision of what a Jewish woman, at her best, looks like, and a reminder to appreciate her every Shabbos.
The Line To Hold On To
Eishes chayil mi yimtzo “A woman of valor, who can find?”
The question itself reveals the true depth of an eshet chayil. Shlomo HaMelech is saying: this kind of woman is rare and precious. Not because good women are scarce, but because the depth of what she does is often unseen. The world does not always notice. But Hashem does, and a wise husband does too. This opening line is a call to pay attention, to see the woman in front of you and recognize what she truly is.
Kapoh porsoh le’oni “She opens her hand to the poor.”
The eshet chayil is not only strong for her own family. She gives to those in need. Her hand is open. This is one of the most defining middos of the Jewish woman: chesed that extends beyond her own doorstep. The Midrash (Mishlei 31) connects this to the women of Israel who gave generously for the building of the Mishkan. An eshet chayil builds the world through her giving.
Pihoh pos’choh v’chochmoh v’soiras chesed al l’shoinoh “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”
Notice the pairing: wisdom and kindness. Not one without the other. An eshet chayil is a woman who speaks thoughtfully, who teaches with love, and who uses her words to build people up. Toras chesed, the teaching of kindness, is its own Torah. She carries it on her tongue and passes it to everyone around her.
Ishoh yir’as Hashem hi tis’halol “A woman who fears Hashem — she shall be praised.”
This is the climax of the entire passage. After twenty-one pesukim describing her accomplishments, Shlomo HaMelech says: none of it matters without yiras Hashem. Charm fades. Beauty passes. But a woman whose life is rooted in her relationship with Hashem, she is the one who deserves lasting praise. This is the foundation of what it means to be an eshet chayil.
How to Say Eshet Chayil
Eshet Chayil is traditionally sung or recited on Friday night, before Kiddush. Some families sing it together. In many homes, the husband sings it to his wife. Some fathers sing it to their daughters as well. The melody varies by community and there are dozens of tunes, but the words are always the same.
Stand facing the woman you are singing to, if you can. Some men hold their wife’s hands while they sing. Others simply look at her. The main thing is kavanah: mean the words. She needs to hear them, and she needs to know you mean them.
If you are a woman saying Eshet Chayil for yourself, that is beautiful too. These words describe who you are striving to be. Say them as a tefillah: “Hashem, help me become this kind of woman.”
Pairing Eshet Chayil with tzedakah connects the chesed described in the passage with a real act of giving. When you give in the zechus of Rabbi Meir Baal Haness, you are living the values of an eshet chayil, opening your hand to the poor and reaching out to those in need. After Eshet Chayil, you may add: Elokah d’Meir aneni.
Give Tzedakah in the Zechus of Rabbi Meir Baal Haness
The Gemara (Avodah Zarah 18a-18b) tells how Rabbi Meir Baal Haness saved his sister-in-law from captivity. She was trapped in a place of danger, and there was no human way to save her. Rabbi Meir cried out “Elokah d’Meir aneni”, and Hashem answered. A woman in danger was brought to safety.
Giving tzedakah in the zechus of Rabbi Meir Baal Haness honors the women who hold our families together. It is not davening to him. It is asking Hashem to bless the women you love — in the combined zechus of a great tzaddik and your act of chesed.
Rabbi Meir Baal Haness Charities was founded in 1799 and supports Torah scholars and the poor in Eretz Yisrael. The talmidei chachamim in Tiberias daven for those who contribute. Give tzedakah in honor of the eshet chayil in your life, and let your chesed rise together with your tefillah.
Living the Eshet Chayil Values
Eshet Chayil is not just something to recite. It is something to live.
If you are a husband, let these words move you beyond the Friday night melody. Notice what your wife does every day. Thank her, not in general, but for specific things. “Thank you for how you handled that with the children today.” “Thank you for the meal.” “Thank you for being the person you are.” Those words cost nothing and mean everything.
For a woman, Eshet Chayil is not a daunting checklist. It is a reflection of the koach Hashem has given you. The wisdom, kindness, and yiras Shamayim described in these pesukim are the source of a Jewish woman’s strength.
And if you are raising daughters, let them hear these words. Let them know that the Torah’s vision of a great woman is not about perfection. It is about strength, chesed, emunah, and the courage to build something that lasts.
Eshet chayil means “woman of valor” or “woman of strength.” It comes from Mishlei (Proverbs) 31:10-31, where Shlomo HaMelech describes a woman of extraordinary character, strong, wise, generous, and rooted in yiras Hashem. The passage is an acrostic, with each verse beginning with a letter of the Aleph-Beis.
It is traditionally sung or recited on Friday night before Kiddush. In many homes, the husband sings it to his wife. Some also say it at other occasions honoring women in the family.
While it is most commonly sung to a wife, many commentators see deeper layers. The Vilna Gaon teaches that Eshet Chayil is an allegory for the Torah. Others see it as a tribute to the neshamah. Ultimately, the passage speaks to the spiritual potential within every Jewish woman.
“G-d of Meir, answer me.” Rabbi Meir called out these words when someone he loved was in danger, and Hashem answered. Saying them alongside Eshet Chayil connects the honor you give your wife with the zechus of a great tzaddik.
A Blessing for the Woman of Valor
Eshet Chayil is more than a song; it is a bracha we give to the women who build our world.
May the women in your life be blessed with strength and with joy. May they know how deeply they are appreciated, not just on Shabbos, but every day. May Hashem give them the koach to carry what they carry and the menuchah to rest when they need it. And may every home that sings Eshet Chayil on Friday night be filled with shalom, with love, and with the quiet knowledge that the woman at the center of it all is Hashem’s greatest bracha.
You can submit a prayer request to the scholars of Tiberias at no cost, and they will daven for the women in your family by name through Rabbi Meir Baal Haness Charities. And if you would like to give tzedakah in Rabbi Meir’s zechus as well, your kindness will rise together with your prayer.
