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Guide to Segulos
for a Shidduch

When you or someone you know is waiting to find their life’s partner, there are many spiritual acts and segulos for a shidduch that you can undertake as merits to help bring the yeshuah.

Donate as a segulah for shidduchim

When you or someone you know is waiting to find their life’s partner, there are many spiritual acts and segulos for a shidduch that you can undertake as merits to help bring the yeshuah.

What is a Segulah for Shidduch?

If someone you care about is single and is experiencing challenges in the area of shidduchim, you may be trying to do everything you can to help them. Especially if it’s a close family member like a sibling or even a child, you may be investing much effort into calling shadchanim and asking anyone you know if they have an idea for your family member.

However, aside from these physical forms of trying to bring the yeshuah (salvation) closer, there are many forms of spiritual hishtadlus you can do as well. Sometimes, there’s absolutely no material hishtadlus that you can do to help, but you can always create merits for the single you care about. Taking concrete spiritual action is also part of our obligation to put in effort, which Hashem wants us to do even as He orchestrates the ultimate outcome. By putting in that effort, whether spiritual or physical, we create a vessel for His help to come.

These kinds of spiritual efforts, or hishtadlus, can take many forms. There’s tefillah, which means davening that the person be helped. Then there’s doing segulos for a shidduch in their merit, which means taking a specific type of spiritual action that is known to be particularly helpful for shidduchim.

By doing a segulah for the single you care about, you give them additional merit that can help them become deserving of finding their zivug (pre-ordained match) very soon. Segulos for shidduchim are not hocus-pocus or a good luck charm. They are tried-and-tested traditions that effect salvation, by elevating a person to a new spiritual level. On that new level, a person is now deserving of the blessing he had previously been unable to access.

Of course, we must still always remember that ultimately, Hashem has a perfect plan for our lives. Even the most righteous and elevated person may not get a specific yeshuah if it is not part of Hashem’s plan for him, and that’s something that’s important to remember. However, fulfilling a segulah can be an important part of a person’s efforts to help himself in shidduchim.

There are some segulos for shidduchim that aren’t based in tradition, and no one really knows where they come from. When doing this type of segulah, it’s important to clarify the background of the segulah and find out if there is a source for it. If there isn’t, or you cannot find out, it’s best to ask a rabbi before trying that segulah.

Many people, when they hear of a segulah for shidduchim, will recommend the segulah to a single they know. But some singles find it offensive to be told about segulos, as it reminds them that they are in need of a yeshuah. Sometimes, they’ve already tried the segulah you mention, and they haven’t seen results. When you fulfill the segulah for marriage in their merit instead, it’s a great way to give them merit without possibly causing any hurt feelings.

Here is a list of opportune segulos for a shidduch that you can do for yourself or someone you know who is in shidduchim and needs a yeshuah.

Segulah for Shidduch: Meaning and Explanations

How will you know which segulah from this list you should take on? You can think about what means most to you.  Then, before committing to take it on, check with a Rabbi, as there are many factors to consider. Once you decide what your segulah will be, say that you are taking on that segulah “bli neder” (without a vow), so that your actions don’t obligate you the way a vow in Jewish law does.

These are segulos for shidduchim that have been recommended for people looking for a yeshuah in this area.

Pray at the Kosel for 40 days

Praying at the Kosel (Western Wall) for 40 days is a very powerful segulah to find a shidduch that was recommended to singles by Rabbi Yisrael Yaakov Fisher, a tzaddik who lived in recent times. If you live near the Kosel, and you want to pray for a single who lives abroad or far away, then this is a great merit that you can give him or her which they cannot do for themselves.

However, if you yourself live far away from the Kosel, you don’t have to give up on this segulah. Firstly, there are many organizations who will fulfill this segulah in the name of another person for a fee, and you can submit a name to be prayed for.

But even more than that, there are many sources that say that these forty days of prayer can be done at any holy site. The important thing is to have a consecutive forty days of prayer for this specific request, as sources say that is the timeframe in which Hashem will respond to the prayers.

Pray at Amukah, at the kever of R’ Yonasan ben Uziel

Many people have merited finding their soulmate after praying at the kever (gravesite) of R’ Yonasan ben Uziel in Amukah, Israel. Just like praying at the gravesite of any righteous person, it’s important to remember that Jews don’t pray to the righteous. Rather, pray to Hashem that He help you in the merit of the righteous person buried there.

This segulah to find a shidduch is a Jewish tradition that has been handed down. Some say that the explanation for this segulah’s power is as follows: R’ Yonasan ben Uziel was so holy that he wanted to dedicate his entire life to Torah study. Because of this, he never married, but he eventually regretted this. To encourage others to get married, and not to follow his example, he promised to intercede in Heaven for anyone who visited his gravesite to get married.

Some people will fulfill this segulah through praying at Amukah for forty days, the auspicious number for having prayers answered. This segulah can be performed by someone else praying for you or the person you care about as well.

Think of them when you are embarrassed

In Judaism, it is considered a great deed to remain silent when another person shames you in public, instead of responding in kind. It can be incredibly difficult to say nothing when another person yells at you and there are other people listening. When someone manages to muster that kind of strength, Jewish tradition tells us that there is a great reward put away for this person.

If you are ever embarrassed in public, and you don’t respond at all to the person who embarrasses you, you can immediately give over the merit to a single you know so that they merit finding their zivug. You can mention their full Hebrew name and give them a bracha (blessing) that in the merit of being silent in the face of embarrassment, they should be able to find their match. This zchus for a shidduch is very powerful.

This is also a wonderful thing to do if you are still single and looking for a shidduch. Make sure to remain silent if you are ever embarrassed publicly, and ask Hashem to send you your zivug in merit of that act.

Fulfill the segulah of Rabbi Masya ben Charash

Rabbi Masya ben Charash was a Tanna who lived in ancient times. He was very righteous, and some of his teachings are included in the Mishnah. The tradition regarding the segulah of Rabbi Masya ben Charash is as follows:

Prepare 18 candles. Light the first one, and say, “I am lighting this candle in the merit of Rabbi Masya ben Charash.” Then say Psalm 86. Repeat this procedure 18 times, lighting each candle in turn, mentioning Rabbi Masya ben Charash and then reciting the Psalm.

Once you’ve completed the lighting of eighteen candles and saying the psalm 18 times, open up to Psalm 119. Psalm 119 is arranged according to the letters of the aleph-beis. Say the pessukim (verses) beginning with the letters of kuf, reish, ayin, shin, tes, and nun. These letters spell the words, “Kra Satan,” meaning, “Destroy the prosecutor.”

When you are finished saying those verses, add prayers in your own words and ask Hashem for the salvation you are waiting for. Mention the full Hebrew name of the person who needs salvation.

By doing this segulah to find a shidduch, you add the merit of the great tzaddik R’ Masya ben Charash to your prayers.

Daven or do a special act on Tu B’av

Tu B’av (the 15th day of the Jewish month of Av) is a day that is especially linked to shidduchim in Jewish history. In days of old, it was a festive day on which many matches were celebrated. Today, Tu b’av shidduchim often includes many people praying together for themselves or others to find their shidduch. Joint prayers are more powerful, and when they are recited on this auspicious day, they can help bring about a full salvation.

All types of segulos can be made even more powerful by doing them on this special day. You might want to pray at Amukah, or donate tzedakah as an additional zchus (merit) for a shidduch that you’re hoping for.

Be careful with Kibud Av V’em (honoring one’s father and mother)

The Chazon Ish, a foremost Torah scholar of the last generation, would tell singles to be careful with Kibud Av V’em as a segulah for marriage. This mitzvah (commandment) is of course most easily fulfilled when one’s parents are alive, but it can also be done once they are no longer alive, through honoring their memory.

Sponsor a poor bride’s wedding

Generously giving of yourself to someone else, especially someone who has something that you want so badly, is a great merit. Therefore, sponsoring a wedding for a poor bride is a segulah to find a shidduch.

You can also sponsor a wedding as a zchus for a shidduch for someone you know. Any time you give charity, it is an opportune time to pray that your requests be answered, so take advantage of the time of your donation to ask Hashem for the yeshuah you want. The extra merit of this special act of charity will increase the power of your prayers at that time.

Pray for someone else who needs the same yeshuah (salvation)

If it’s you or your child that is in shidduchim, you may want to try the famous segulah of praying for another person who needs the same yeshuah. You can trade names with a friend who is also in need of a shidduch, or whose child is in need of a shidduch. Each of you should mention the other’s name while praying.

To strengthen these prayers, you can also donate charity in the name of the person you are praying for. Your donation will add merit to your prayers and serve as a powerful way to bring salvation closer for both of you.

Hashem’s salvation comes in the blink of an eye, and what seems impossible one day can come true literally overnight. The more aware we are of Hashem orchestrating our path and others’ paths through shidduchim, the better off we’ll be emotionally and spiritually.

Whatever segulah for marriage you choose to do, remember what the ultimate goal of a segulah is. It’s there to remind us to turn to Hashem and concentrate on praying, doing mitzvos and giving charity instead of being constantly focused on our own needs.

This is the goal of doing a segulah, and you can accomplish it for someone else as well. By having this awareness and doing a segulah for someone else, you help them spiritually without them even knowing it, which is a great form of chessed. Segulos for a shidduch are something you can do to effect real change, even in situations when you feel like there’s nothing you can do to help someone.

RMBH Charities offers you the opportunity to fulfill some of the segulos mentioned above in the merit of a friend or loved one. You can donate to RMBH to sponsor a poor bride’s wedding, donate on Tu B’av, the day that is traditionally linked to shidduchim, or simply donate at any time, any amount, for the merit of the yeshuah you are hoping for.

With an increase in the merit of tzedakah as well as tefillah and maasim tovim, may all singles find their happy match very soon.