When you’re in shidduchim and looking for the right shidduch, informational resources can be truly empowering. Find helpful shidduch perspectives and information on how to prepare for shidduch dating.
Looking for a marriage partner is a big milestone. However, although marriage is the ultimate goal of the shidduchim process, that doesn’t mean that you’re simply in a waiting room throughout the time you date.
You can make this time be one of investing in yourself and one of personal growth. By approaching this unique time of shidduch dating with the right attitude and resources, you can give a whole new meaning to everything you do to find your shidduch.
Keeping in mind that the ultimate goal of shidduchim is to reach marriage, the efforts you invest should be targeted and focused. Praying and doing other good deeds to merit that your zivug be one that is connected to Torah means you acknowledge that this is the purpose of marriage. That itself serves as a powerful merit that you be zocheh to build a bayis neeman b’yisrael (a faithful home among Israel) that is full of Torah.
Topics covered in this section:
- How to Write a Shidduch Resume
- Navigate The Shidduchim Process with Confidence
- How to Prepare for a Date
- Ways to Deal with the Shidduch Crisis
- Guide to Segulos for Shidduchim
Looking for a marriage partner is a big milestone. However, although marriage is the ultimate goal of the shidduchim process, that doesn’t mean that you’re simply in a waiting room throughout the time you date.
You can make this time be one of investing in yourself and one of personal growth. By approaching this unique time of shidduch dating with the right attitude and resources, you can give a whole new meaning to everything you do to find your shidduch.
Keeping in mind that the ultimate goal of shidduchim is to reach marriage, the efforts you invest should be targeted and focused. Praying and doing other good deeds to merit that your zivug be one that is connected to Torah means you acknowledge that this is the purpose of marriage. That itself serves as a powerful merit that you be zocheh to build a bayis neeman b’yisrael (a faithful home among Israel) that is full of Torah.
Traveling on this journey to marriage, there are many pragmatic steps and spiritual efforts that can be taken. Your perspective and preparation as you navigate the shidduch dating world will change your focus. The following articles can help walk you through the shidduchim process and familiarize you with the expected social norms for each step. You’ll find helpful perspectives on the many aspects of shidduchim in each of these articles.
With the right perspectives and preparation, the hope is for all Frum singles to find their bashert and be zocheh (merit) to get married very soon.
How to Write a Shidduch Resume
How to Write a Shidduch Resume
Sections to include and a shidduch resume template to follow
Both for shadchanim and for each potential shidduch, looking into the information provided on the shidduch resume is the first step in the shidduchim process. When you have a clear breakdown of sections that are relevant and a shidduch resume template to follow, you can write a resume that you feel confident about.
Navigate The Shidduchim Process with Confidence
Navigate The Shidduchim Process with Confidence
What to keep in mind during the Shidduch dating process
How can you feel most prepared to deal with shidduchim? What kind of hishtadlus makes the most sense for you to do? In this guide, find answers to these questions and more practical tips on using the time of shidduchim to its fullest.
How to Prepare for a Date
How to Prepare for a Date
Learn about steps you can take to practical and emotional preparedness
Want to know how to coordinate the logistics of your first shidduch date? Here you’ll find the important questions to ask before you go out, and how to prepare yourself for the date on every level. Find also helpful conversation ideas and shidduch perspectives to keep in mind.
Ways to Deal with the Shidduch Crisis
Ways to Deal with the Shidduch Crisis
Know the causes and solutions to the shidduch crisis
No matter what your current involvement in the shidduch scene, you can take part in solutions for the shidduch crisis. Knowing the causes and what role you can play can help many frum singles in shidduchim today.
Guide to Segulos for Shidduchim
Guide to Segulos for Shidduchim
Find a segulah you can do for yourself or for another
It’s not always possible to think of suggestions or help others find appropriate dates. But you can always do something to increase spiritual merits that help bring a yeshuah in shidduchim. Whether you’re looking for a meaningful segulah for yourself, or you want to do something to help a single you know, this guide can help you choose a special spiritual action to accomplish.
Ways to Deal with the Shidduch Crisis
Ways to Deal with the Shidduch Crisis
Know the causes and solutions to the shidduch crisis
No matter what your current involvement in the shidduch scene, you can take part in solutions for the shidduch crisis. Knowing the causes and what role you can play can help many frum singles in shidduchim today.
Journey of Shidduchim:
Embracing Prayer and Purpose in Jewish Shidduchim
Something as momentous as shidduchim should always be accompanied by tefillah (prayer) and maasim tovim (good deeds).
These serve as a zechus (merit) to bring you the fulfillment of your dreams in the best possible way.
Meriting Siyatta Dishmaya (Heavenly assistance) means that Hashem will lead you in the very best direction, what is truly right for you. Often, we may have ideas of what we want and what seems best to us, but Hashem is the One orchestrating our lives. He knows better than we do what is truly best, beyond our limited view of what seems good. Only Hashem knows who will be the one to help us fulfill our mission in life.
Even more, Hashem has your marriage partner already prepared for you from before you were born. In fact, Jewish tradition teaches that forty days before conception, Hashem announces (so to speak) who the zivug (ordained partner) of each neshama (soul) will be. Every person that is created by Hashem is put into this world to fulfill a special purpose, for which their specific marriage partner is the perfect person to help them.
Hashem’s announcement of each person’s marriage partner shows that each person’s zivug is Divinely ordained as the only one who can help them fulfill their mission and purpose. Your zivug is the one that will help you grow and fulfill your role in life.
Embracing this perspective of the divinity of marriage lends a new meaning to the process of shidduchim. It means that what you are actually doing as you date is working towards the fulfillment of your life’s purpose. Looking for who your zivug is, instead of just looking for someone you like, takes your dating to a new level.
Aside from preparing yourself practically at every step of your shidduch journey, there’s another important aspect to consider. Information and guidance can help you in many ways, but ultimately Hashem’s assistance will bring you your shidduch fastest.
Relying on Hashem for the ultimate guidance is the best way to ensure that your shidduchim process remains meaningful, even when your efforts don’t seem to be bringing success. Remember that it’s Hashem leading you on the perfect path He has planned for your life.
By davening and giving tzedakah as a merit for your shidduchim, you can supercharge your shidduch process with spiritual power. These acts, as well as approaching shidduchim with a true Jewish shidduchim perspective, will benefit you now and in your future married life as well.
FAQs about Shidduchim:
What is the meaning of the word shidduch?
The word shidduch usually refers to an arranged match. However, the literal definition of the word in its original Aramaic is in fact “settling” because both partners need to settle for each other. This term refers to every single match, because there is no person who is perfect.
Who is shidduch dating for?
Almost all denominations of Orthodox Jews use shidduch dating to find potential marriage partners. Usually, a shidduch resume is used or the single will go onto shidduchim websites with dating profiles.
What is Jewish shidduchim all about?
Jewish shidduch dating means going out for the purpose of getting married. Not all shidduch dates are arranged matches, but many do involve a shadchan (matchmaker). See next question for more information about the shadchan.
What is the role of the shadchan (Jewish matchmaker)?
The shadchan’s role may be as limited as suggesting the name of a potential date to a single and giving over all the information, including contact information. The single may take care of the dating process from there and on, calling to ask their date out.
On the other hand, a shadchan often plays a large role in the shidduchim process. The shadchan may suggest a name, set up the first date as well as all consecutive dates, and serve as a go-between for the dating parties until the time of engagement.
How long is Jewish shidduch dating
Shidduch dating can vary from anywhere between several dates to a couple of months of dating. In the cases of less in-person dates, there is usually a lot of research done before the couple even goes out, including finding out background information and calling many references about the date beforehand. These reference-checking calls are made to ensure potential compatibility before dating begins.
Can I date in America and live in Israel?
Many Jewish singles hope to live in Israel upon marriage. This is a dream or life plan that can be discussed on dates to see if there is common ground in this are
What is the most important value in shidduch dating?
Every person’s values are different, and for a marriage to work, your partner’s values must be compatible with yours. That way, you can understand each other and grow together. These common values will become the foundation of your home.
If you truly value Torah and Yiras Shamayim (fear of Heaven), you’ll look for a spouse that embodies those qualities, b’ezras Hashem (with the help of Hashem), so that your future home is filled with Torah as well.
